10 Stages of Getting Ready For Your Party
Sure, it's our fave night of the year but also one of the most stressful. Hands up if you've experienced one or all of these, as told by Mean Girls...
Ordering 20 dress options and sending them all back
When you try and book a hair appointment but get told your fave stylist has dared to take a holiday
Inviting everyone around to your pre-game like
Deciding whether to tan
Trying to get out early from work
Everyone crowding round the one mirror
Getting the perfect do
But then a few minutes after stepping outside
Nailing a decent selfie
The chaos when the taxi arrives and you're not ready
Image source: Giphy
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Show me a girl who says she isn't any of these people after a night out, and I will show you a liar. This is you and the squad every weekend, without fail.1. The Crier*Looks at takeaway menu* 'You guys... They've got haiwaiin pizza... That was Adam's FAVOURITE PIZZ-AAAAAAH AH AH AH' *does Kim K's ugly cry*Mate, I think I speak for us all when I say that nobody gives a sh*t about Adam's pizza choices. Also, get off of his Instagram. Your 62 weeks deep now and it's making everyone else nervous for you. 2. The Houdini/Disappearing ActBut seriously, how do you do this every. Single. TIME? We pre-drink, we form a plan, we queue up... Then BAM. We get inside and probably won't see you for a solid week now. Bye, then? 3. The Hangry OneThis one can be found running her mouth at the poor sods working at the 24 hour McDonalds. She's practically climbing over the counter just so she can get her mits on that extra BBQ sauce which they forgot about. One word: feral. 4. The ToddlerSo, at this point, she has done the following:1. Lost her phone/dropped it in mayonnaise2. Tried to eat her cheesy chips, but actually has more on her dress than in her mouth3. Made her bed for the night on a random kerb with a pizza box for a pillow 5. The Social ButterflyNevermind us, this one has formed a whole new squad in the space of 20 minutes. Now we're a party of 12 sat on a table in a takeaway together, and planning an after party at our flat...What is happening? Image source: giphy
10 Stages Of Your Work Holiday Party
1. The Build UpThe invite lands in your inbox. The date is set for what is always the best night of being employed. So what if it's weeks away? The excitement sets in, as does outfit planning. Do I dress to impress? Or try something new in a trouser suit? Hair up? Hair down? Statement lip? Or smokey eye? Thank god we've got time to think this all through... 2. The PanicSo what we thought was "ages away" is actually next week and I've approximately no outfit options. Do I dig out one from the archive or just order half of the internet? Whispers are rapid around the office about what Clare from accounts is wearing. Mild panic sets in as Lauren and Rachel have ordered the same dress. This is more stress than the big day itself.3. The Getting ReadyYou've got your outfit down and the night is here - that's the hard bit over right? Oh no, getting ready. We do this everyday but the big night makes it 10x harder. Does this colour clash with my dress? Will my curls hold? Probably not. Add in a few cheeky pre-drinks, four girls around one mirror and you've got chaos central. 4. The ArrivalHours and copious amounts of hairspray later, you've made it. Your make-up is on point, your hair is looking sassy and you feel like a million dollars. Savour the moment because it's potentially all downhill from here. Group photos will most likely happen around about now where if you're on the end of the gang you'll literally be cut out come Instagram uploads - pick your spot wisely. 5. The 'I'm going to take it slow' MomentWe all know how this goes, start with a diet coke - pace yourself...Yep...6. The 'Oh why the hell not?' Moment (About an hour later)There's always one person who switches up the party atmosphere by initiating shots. Chances are you'll get dragged into it, or maybe you ARE that person. Well, we all know how this ends. 7. The DancingThere's three types of dancers at your office party. The ones who take it too seriously, the ones who throw their hands in the air like they just don't care, and the people who simply don't dance. There may also be a girl busting out the splits or maybe you and your crew have a dance routine rehearsed. Whatever your do - there will be dancing. Ladies - bring back up flats, your feet will thank you for it later. 8. The New Best FriendsOh, hey person I've only made eye contact with once in the canteen queue but now we're lifelong friends. Yep, this will inevitably happen, even more so in the ladies' toilets where you'll be complimenting each other's outfits: "OMG Emma your hair looks beautiful, you're such a great person - HOW have we not been friends before?!" Make the most of this friendship, as it may not survive past the weekend. 9. The DramaAs with any situation involving alcohol, drama often follows. Whether it's love triangles, friendship fights or general vodka infuelled dramatics, be wary of the work drama. 10. The Fear Ah, the fear. However with colleagues involved this gets multiplied by a thousand. Did I really kiss David from Marketing? That photo on Facebook is not a great angle and ouch, where did I get that bruise from? Oh yes, falling over three times in front of my boss - we'll blame 'the floor.' And that's before the dreaded possessions panic. Where did I put my phone? Have I got my keys? Uh oh, what are these receipts for?! Did I really buy takeout for my whole team? And why do I have 4 missed calls and 12 Whatsapps from my ex? Ahhhh the drunken text messages reminiscing about the good old days, yep that's one bridge burned!All this before Monday morning, depending on if you can face the fear head on and make it into work...
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6 Things That Will Test Your Relationship Over The Festive Season
By Sam GrisdaleEveryone knows that Christmas is one of the most stressful times of the year, and it’s no surprise when you have to put up with these annoying habits of your other half… 1. StruggleYour beau is cold so they turn the fire on, forgetting to move your advent calendar out of the heat. Your chocolates have turn to molton lava and your heart breaks because R.I.P Lindor.1. SolutionPut your calendar in the fridge to try to fix the melty mess. If that fails, swap the calendars around and plead ignorance. Not even sorry. 2. StruggleYou’ve scheduled in a showing of Love Actually in the comfort of your own home, along with a bundle of blankets and snacks galore, however bae has just told you they’re going out for last minute Christmas drinks with their besties and tells you not to wait up.2. SolutionMake the most of your impromptu evening in on your tod and have a cute lil pamper night whilst watching your face film with all the trimmings including mani, pedi, face mask and a glass/bottle of wine of the side. 3. StruggleYou’ve agreed to do no presents to each other as you already have the greatest gift in the world. Each other. Aw! However, come Christmas day there’s a present under the tree from you but not one to you.Everyone knows when a girl says she doesn’t want a present it’s a little white lie. Should’ve bought them a book titled Unlocking The Secrets Of Girl Code. Grrr.3. SolutionRemember you did agree to the no present rule, and just think about all the times they’ve paid for dinner dates, flowers, chocolates and put up with your menstrual moods. Also, Christmas isn’t just about the gifts, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go out in the sales and treat yo’self to make up for it. 4. StruggleYou want your babe to come to your families Christmas Day festivities, but they want you to come to their families festivities.4. SolutionHaving a partner is all about compromise, especially when it comes to things that are important to both of you such as family. You can try the ‘this year at mine, next years at yours’ trick, or have Christmas Day at yours and invite both sides of the family round. Everyone knows peak adulthood is hosting Christmas Day. 5. StruggleThis Christmas is actually the first time your parents are meeting your new babe, and there’s too many scenes of Gaylord Focker meeting the Byrnes family running through your mind.5. SolutionTry to fill your partner in as much as possible on what your parents and siblings are like and most importantly their sense of humour. Nothing will make you want the ground to swallow you up more than hearing your partner make a joke that isn’t to everyone's tastes.Plead willingly with those Bambi eyes of yours for them to be on their best behaviour and promise you’ll give a VERY special present as a thank you in return. 6. StruggleToo much turkey has been eaten, copious amounts of Bailey’s has been drunk and you’re ready to settle down in front of the TV with a cuppa and a box of Celebrations. You realise the last Malteaser has been eaten by your so-called life partner and you let out a genuine sob.6. SolutionOpen the next tin and eat your way through the symptoms of your food coma.Note to lover: Despite all the extra stress you put us through at this time of year, you know that all we want for Christmas is…you xoGIF source: Giphy