10 Thoughts Everyone Has In The Office
by Clare Evans
Fun fact for you: you spend a third of your life at work. One WHOLE third of your life. That works out at an eye-watering 90,000 hours over your whole lifetime. And during those 90,000 hours, there are a few thoughts that will definitely have crossed your mind on the regular...
1. “How is it ONLY 9:07am!? I could have sworn I’d been here for AT LEAST three hours already!”
Office minutes are like treadmill minutes. They’re 172529582% longer than your average 60-second job, and don’t you just know it. This one’s not just a thought either. You’ll have the “Can you believe it’s only 10am?!” conversation with at least three different people every morning.
2. “Want. Coffee. Need. Coffee…”
There’s only one thing for it. Caffeine. And lots of it #thankyouplease. There’s no way you’re going to make it through the day without it. Even if it does mean you’re buzzing more than a bee by 11am.
3. “No Sandra, I haven’t got a sec…”
Ugh. Why do people always ask you that? Of course you haven’t “got a sec”! You’re very busy doing important things (a.k.a. shopping online and checking your Instagram). And, why do they ALWAYS ask you that right before you’re about to head off to lunch or worse…go home!?
4. “OMG gossip! Must email my work BFF for a kitchen debrief…ASAP!”
There’s nothing like a good gossip with your work BFF but you can’t just go and stand at her desk. You need to be sneaky. Your tea and toilet breaks are always perfectly synchronised so you can spill the beans. You’ve also perfected the art of subtle nicknames for people to keep the goss on the DL, obvs!
5. “I wonder if it’s anyone’s birthday today?”
It’s one of those unwritten office rules that you bring in treats on our birthday and you’ll often find yourself wondering whose turn it is to bring in some cake. Who cares if you’re trying to be good? One little slice won’t hurt…
6. “Who’s had fish for lunch?!”
There’s always one fish lover who insists on reheating their lunch in the communal mic AND THEN eats it at their desk, stinking the whole office out. Nice one.
7. “What is it with the air-con in here?”
It’s an office urban myth that room temperature exists. It’s either hotter than the Sahara or colder than the North Pole and it changes daily. How is anyone meant to dress for work when you don’t know if you should be wearing sandals and a sundress or 8 layers?!
8. “It’s 4:30pm, no point starting anything new now.”
Ah, the afternoon wind-down. No-one likes leaving things half finished (and there’s no chance you’re staying after 5pm) so you spend the last 30 mins of the day looking busy. But hey, it’s given you a very Instagrammable desk after all that tidying! #goals
9. “My office BFF’s are the only reason I come to work”
Y’know, beside the pay slip obvs. You regularly wonder how on earth you’d make it through a day in the office without them. They’re there when things go well, when you need to rant, and make all those tedious office nights out actually fun!
Remember back in school that rush of excitement when the bell rang and you could go home? It’s the same feeling when the clock strikes 5 and you can leave work for the day.
That is, unless Sandra stops you on the way out and asks: “Have you got a sec…?”